Assignment 3.4-Pt. 2a-Peer Review Essay

Mohammad Ashkanani

Professor: Rachael Sullivan

English 101

26 October 2011

Peer Review Essay of Dari Alshammari’s 3.2 Assignment

to “A.D. New Orleans After the Deluge”

by

Josh Neufeld

            Introduction:

Dari, your stressing to the reader that you made a point of attempting to distinctly and continually communicate the gravity of Neufeld’s intentions seemed to be your controlling purpose’s emphasis.  As a result, in your taking this course of interpretation, you felt that you were responding to Neufeld feelings related to his subject-matter. 

            Body of Writing:

While this is plausible, I don’t know for certain is it in realty, what Neufeld was trying to convey.  This is especially true in lieu of you admitting yourself that Neufeld never once came out and openly express this.  It is visually evident however, that Neufeld did present powerful pictures and a few words that were disturbing as they were touching. 

So I think each reader can interpret different levels of emotional reactions and feedback expressed to what was shown in Neufeld’s explicit cartoon display of drawings and words.  I do think, however, that your realization of providing a clear thesis statement in your introductory paragraph would have made your essay clearer in intent and in so doing, far more coherent to the reader. 

 I do believe, however, that in this being an interpretive essay that your writing did contain and express factors that were as informative as they were needed to be thought-provoking.  What I especially liked was you questioning yourself in a number of your decision-makings on how you could have possibly brought about greater clarity in your writing. 

            Conclusion:

It seems that you were torn between the amount of your writing that you focused on expressing your personal interpretations versus what was actually presented.  I do believe however that you questioning whether you produced an adequate mixture of personal interpretation, transitional contextures in quotation and a conclusion that summed up Neufeld’s argument was precisely the way all conclusions should be orchestrated.  To what extent you succeeded in this endeavor is relevant to its realization.